Mad Cow Disease

At some point yesterday afternoon, I reached forward to pick up my work folder with my right hand and my right arm brushed against my right boob. "Ow" I thought to myself. "I've got a nice little bruise there". Throughout the course of the afternoon I became conscious of the pain inside my breast, even when I wasn't touching it. "Ow! That really hurts" I thought in the car on the way home. The pain was stabbing, throbbing and sharp. It felt like someone had stabbed me on the inside, leaving no trace. There were no marks, lumps or external symptoms at all. By the time I went to bed I was on the painkillers. 2 paracetamol & an ibuprofen. That'll sort me out.
Midnight. I wake up thinking I must have left a window open, it's sooooooo cold in the room. I grab the extra quilt and snuggle up under 2 quilts and a sheet. Shivering. Hmmmmm, eventually I realise that the cold is coming from me! I have a fever. I turn over. OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
my boob is soooooooo sore, I can't move. I try and turn over, it's excruciating. Really. Really. Bad.
9:10 am - appointment at the docs. Mastitis. What? Isn't that something cows get? I definitely recall reading something in 'All Creatures Great and Small ' about cows with gangy udders!
Funnier still is the fact that usually it's breastfeading women who get it, and the doctor said, "so, are you breastfeeding?", "No" I replied. "Are you sure?" she said. I think I'd notice, don't you think?
So anyway, here's me, sore boob and high temperature - again -with a wierdy disease - and I can't even drink away my sorrows because I'm on antibiotics. It's udderly udderly terrible.