An interesting journey - part 1

So, as Li said, I was just pootling over the M62 towards Manchester. Unusually I was in the outside lane (!) when a very loud noise started coming from the engine compartment.

Very loud.
NOT GOOD I thought to myself.

I moved into the middle lane, and was signalling to get into the inside lane when the oil light came on. I started looking for somewhere to pull over. The next junction was quite far away and so I was looking for the next roadside phone. I put my hazard lights on.

Next thing I knew was that all of the lights on the dashboard lit up at once, and a message I've never seen before flashed up; 'Engine management system failed'. Something told me that this was bad news! The power failed and so did the brakes, not an ideal situation as I was still in the middle lane and going about 40mph.

A lorry was coming up on my inside, so I let him undertake me and I manage to coast over and get on the hard shoulder.

As I pulled the car to a stop with the handbrake (something I've always wanted to do - eat your heart out Starsky & Hutch), thick white smoke started billowing around my feet. After analysing the situation for about 0.004 of a second, I determined that the situation wasn't improving so I thought I'd better get out of the car (after grabbing the tom-tom, but not the charging cable, or the tom-tom case)

There was loads of smoke coming from under the bonnet but I still had time to get my thinkpad (a brand new one I only got on Thursday) and my ski-jacket (it was very cold) from the boot.

Just as I was walking away from the car, I saw flames start to come out from under the bonnet! This was getting SERIOUSLY BAD!

The story continues here with An interesting Journey - Part 2