Secret Santa

We did a 'Secret Santa' thing at work. £5 max for the gift, and each picked a name out of the hat. We gave the gifts out on Thursday lunchtime and I got THE MOST FAB prezzie of a USB aquarium. Non techies: don't ask!...just know it's a really cool thing. However, there was something wrong with my fish. They wouldn't swim....and so I had to ask my Secret Santa politely for the receipt back...but of course, it being a secret, I didn't know who had given me the prezzie in the 1st place.
I started writing an email to all the team who had participated in the Secret Santa and begin it by typing...'Help me Secret Santa'...now clearly I AM a poet, and those of you who have known me for some time will remember some of my famous rhymed outpourings (not least of which my speech at Rose and Liam's wedding!) but as soon as my fingers typed the 'Help me Secret Santa'...I could hear the metre instantly...and nearly as fast as I could type it, the rhymes and rhythms came to my fingertips....

Help me Secret Santa
Thank you Secret Santa,
It really was just fab,
The present that you brought me, will
Look great in the test lab.

You "got me" Secret Santa
It's just the thing I like,
I'm... "gadgets gadgets gadgets!"
Not ... "give me a new bike".

So imagine how I'm hurting,
I hope it's not a joke,
I hate to tell you Santa,
But the gift you bought was BROKE

Please help me Secret Santa,
It would be really neat,
If, in secret, Santa
You could give me the receipt.

So please help me Santa,
And grant me this one wish,
All I want for Christmas is....
An aquarium with SWIMMING fish!

Needless to say, after my poetic overtures, the Secret Santa made himself known and I'm going to take my non-swimming fish back to where they came from. (Sainsbury's!)